Guest post by Kailey B.
Kailey B. is a Meditation Teacher/Practitioner and health and wellness copywriter. Check her out at kbwriteforme.com!
How to Combat Loneliness During COVID-19 Lockdown
Over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking about my friends who already experience loneliness during regular times. And I’ve been worrying a little bit. Since we’ve been on lockdown, I have been wondering if they are doing alright — getting their medicines regularly and taking them, finding the motivation to get out in the sunshine. But mainly I’m worried about how they’re doing emotionally, and if they’ve been able to stay connected to friends and family.
I know sometimes it can be hard to stay connected to people when we’re so busy with our daily lives. Traveling between home and work. Taking care of things in the house. Even during “normal” times we can get down and feel depressed. Usually this is when we stop reaching out to people.
So I have been checking in every so often to see how they’re doing because this is a really crazy time. I know that it’s hard for everyone, especially those of us with pre-existing mental health conditions. Even the slightest bit of anxiety we experience during regular days seems to be amplified right now!
I’ve even been having some trouble. I’ve felt pretty lonely some days, and I know that most of my friends aren’t trying to ignore me. They’re all just dealing with their own emotions and have their own ways of handling this unusual circumstance.
Simple Things You Can Do to Feel Less Lonely During Quarantine
I know from my years of practicing lots of self help and self love techniques that much of the time it’s up to me to take control of my situation. Even when I’m not feeling up to it. Throughout the few years I’ve been on my intense self-love journey I’ve been asked by friends for little pieces of advice. So I thought I’d share a list of the things I’m doing these days to stay connected to people, despite the stay at home orders, the masks covering up our expressions, and the inward pull of social isolation that keeps us in our shells.
Since I’ve started implementing the simple actions below I’ve noticed that I’m so much happier. I feel a lot more positive about how things are going in the world. I know it’s bad out there, but just knowing that I have friends and family that are always open to me reaching out to them has been so helpful in changing my overall perspective these days.
It wasn’t easy to start these things. I had to get over my disappointment that people weren’t reaching out to me regularly. Again, I know everyone deals with things in their own way and at first I was upset that no one was checking in on me. Then I realized, I wasn’t checking in on them either. I realized I could be the one who would start that ripple effect of positivity. So, here are a few things I’ve been doing to stay positive and connected to people through quarantine.
6 Tips For Maintaining Social Connections During COVID-19 Lockdown
1.Call and Facetime Your Friends and Family
If you know me, you know I’m usually not someone who likes to be on the phone. Like, at all. I actually prefer face to face interactions and I don’t even text people that often. But I realized that I had to start reaching out to people, at least through text messages, when the lockdown started because I couldn’t “fill my cup” with face to face interactions.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been making it a point to just call friends and leave them voicemails if they don’t pick up. I never facetime someone without scheduling it or asking them in advance. Just being able to hear someone’s voice or see someone who is giving me their full attention on the other side of the phone helps me feel like I’m not as isolated as I thought.
2.Move Your Social Events to Zoom
One of my girlfriends was supposed to get married at the end of April. We were all so excited because this couple was totally made for each other. If you met them, you’d totally agree. My friend’s bachelorette party was planned for the last week in March and she was planning to go with her bridesmaids to Napa.
Then the coronavirus started getting a lot more attention and most of her bridesmaids were feeling really uncomfortable with traveling. A few weeks before the bachelorette trip they all decided it was best to postpone their celebration. I can only imagine how she felt.
To help her feel better, a couple of us girls got together and planned a Zoom bachelorette party for her — with games, drinks, and even coordinating outfits. She loved it, and we got to spend time together, even though we were on our computers. The best part was that people who couldn’t really afford the trip were able to participate in the bachelorette celebration. We all had a great time getting to know her other friends and celebrating our love for her, and her love for her fiance.
3.Meet Up With Your Friends From a Safe Social Distance- Outside
In mid-May I decided I really needed to see people in real life and not just through a computer screen. I needed to hear their voices with only my ears — not through a device. So I went to visit my friend. We sat outside, at least 6’ apart and kept our masks on most of the time.
Although I didn’t stay very long, it was so nice to just be in the presence of another person. I’ll never again take for granted the energy I can feel being close to somebody. Also, it was so lovely to get some fresh air and sunshine. After this outing I felt refreshed and energized, and ready to tackle another couple of weeks in quarantine.
4.Have Genuine Conversations With Essential Workers
I’m that person who talks to everyone in line at the grocery store. And during the lockdown I’ve realized that it’s very therapeutic to have a conversation with a complete stranger. Talking to someone I don’t know doesn’t feel weird, it actually makes me feel more connected to others while we’re all stuck at home. Plus, the people who are working in essential positions right now are dealing with a lot of stress. Sharing a genuine conversation with them can help them feel like they are doing something worthwhile, and that their efforts and risks are appreciated.
You can talk to an essential worker about anything. You can just say, “Hi, how are you holding up these days?” Or, you can ask them how work has changed, or just tell them you think they look like they’re having a great day. If they don’t want to talk, that’s ok. Sometimes just making that connection through a compliment is enough.
5.Join a Facebook Group Based on Your Personal Interests
Lately I’ve been spending a lot more time on Facebook. At first I was a little embarrassed by it, and thought I should curb my social media use. But when I actually did cut down on the time I was spending, I realized that I wasn’t feeling better. I realized that spending time on Facebook was sort of filling the gap I had from not being able to communicate and hang out with my friends in real life groups.
So I took advantage of the groups feature and started joining groups that fit my interests. I joined a women’s entrepreneurship group and a group for people who read books by one of my favorite authors. This way I can have conversations with people who have things in common with me — instead of just talking to my 8 year old about the life hacks and spy tricks she’s seen on YouTube. Being able to communicate with people I can relate to has made me feel less alone in a world where we can’t meet people in our usual physical spots.
6.Take an Online Course That Connects Its Students to Each Other
This is definitely the thing that has brought me the most joy through quarantine so far. At the end of April, I found a course online for a skill I’ve been wanting to develop and decided to sign up. Along with the course, the instructor included a Facebook group so that all of the students could bounce ideas off of each other, get help, chat about the course material, and participate in some fun extra challenges.
And let me tell you, this group of people has already become important to me and I’m looking forward to the day we can travel again and meet each other in real life. Again, having something in common with people makes me feel like we’re already connected, and then the conversation flows easily and I feel less alone in my own little personal quarantine world.
Quarantine Doesn’t Have to Be So Lonely
These are just a few ideas and I hope that you’ll find them helpful and share them with others you know who might be struggling to maintain social connections right now. Just know that I’ve been thinking of you, and so have your friends and family. You can always facetime, have a phone call, a socially-distant outside hangout, or form or join your own Facebook group in order to stay connected to the people you love or the people you’ll grow to love.
PS: I noticed that a lot of people who are talking to me while wearing masks are using more expression and speaking louder than usual. I like that because it really tells me how they’re feeling when I can’t see the expressions on their faces!